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A list of Dundee United fuck-ups in the last 18 months
A list of Dundee United fuck-ups in the last 18 months
Thanks to Deefiant on p&b forums

1. Announced debt free - no need to sell players
2. Sold 2 players to direct rivals - Celtic
3. Manager and staff revealed to be skimming the cream off the deal in percentages
4. "Debt free" revealed as figure of speech only - club still in debt despite £12m in player sales with the ground tied up as leverage against non payment
5. Star player bites fellow professional
6. Defend star player by victim blaming and accusing the victim of being a liar and a racist.
7. Star player receives lengthy ban.
8. Direct rivals - Celtic - linked with start player - official statement released saying no more players sold to Celtic.
9. Star player sold to Celtic
10. Chairman loses interest, takes full salary, hires expensive deputy (who every DAB hates) and fucks off to Oz to eye up some new eye candy in the Newcastle Jets
11. Signed Darko Bodul to replace star player - fans creaming themselves into oblivion based on Ratnamaras comments - Darko Bodul is shite.
12. Signed Rodney Sneijder after an Ibiza bender. Fans creaming themselves over his brother.
13. Sneijder is shite, on a come down and leaves
14. Club refund fans with Sneijder on the top
15. Macnamara sacked - healthy payoffs all round
16. Mixu appointed - fans back him
17. Mixu is shite - fans lambast him as the cheap option
18. Mixu signs Gavin Gunning grin emoticon
19. Kawashima is announced as signing - but can't - for 2 months or so as Utd continue to slide down the table and further adrift.
20. Expensive, perma crock mercenaries signed - Demel and Pongolle. Manage about 360 mins between them over a full season
21. Kawashima finally signs - he season is saved!
22. Kawashima throws in a goal on his debut against the Dees - and is actually an expensive vrsion of what the y have - shite.
23. Riku Riski signs - or was it his brother - or both - no-one knows.
24. Turns out its Riku Riski
25. Riku Riski is shite and leaves
26. Gavin Gunning picks the ball up and walks off.
27. Gunning is sacked
28. No he isn't - Gunning is still Utds player.
29. Dundee Utd are relegated at Dens Park in front of under 2000 Arabs.
30. Chairman loses the pliot and sacks the manager and most of the team
31. Utd's next starting XI includes mostly players who are aware they have no future at the club
32. Utd win away to Inverness - but they have cheated to do so.
33. Utd fans hold a minter protest against Thompson which about 10 people turn up to
34. Utd fans aren't bothered as they revel in the fact they might cost Dundee a sum of money.
35. Utd docked 3 points, fined. no points for Inverness.
I've likely missed loads out - fill in the gaps.

What a fucking joke of a club this season.

Only the Fun.

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